Keeping Love at the Center Even When It’s Hard

By Lisa Schilansky, Ministerial Intern

An adage says, put three Unitarian Universalists into a room, get four opinions. One thing I’ve learned in my seven years attending General Assembly (GA), is that we are a gloriously pluralistic faith. We talk a lot about religious pluralism, but to have such a difference of opinions and experiences means something entirely different. We are also a living tradition, which means we will grow and change over time, and growing pains almost always come.

To help people stay in right relation with each other, while having difficult conversations about the right path forward for Unitarian Universalism, each GA has a Covenant Team—one of four teams part of the broader Care Teams. This year, I had the honor of serving on this team, and it was humbling, to say the least.

The changes to Article II of our bylaws, replacing our seven principles and six sources with six values having love at their center is a monumental change and one bringing forth much joy and some notable grief. Our faith is richest when we recognize that, as a covenantal faith, we can disagree and still stay in relation and communication with each other. I witnessed the leaders of the UUA and the different Care Teams making sure to hold us in compassion and relationship with the 28% who voted against the proposed changes to Article II.

The debate about Article II was not the only difficult moment, however. In response to a beautiful and vital business resolution affirming the inherent worth and dignity of trans and non-binary people, a resolution that will permit UU organizations and congregations around the country to judicially fight the onslaught of anti-trans laws, some took the opportunity to speak openly in very hate-filled and harmful ways. Opponents of this resolution shared misinformation that has been discredited by reputable sources. While some fact-checking was done in the moment, very real harm occurred, and this is something that we as an Association need to reconcile with.​

For those most impacted by the negative debate of this and other issues, GA 2024 was not easy and was downright painful. As we affirmed our new values with love at the center, GA leadership modeled how to do this in real-time. Bigoted statements were not left without response, but for those of whom there was well-intentioned disagreement, whether around Article 2 or the various Actions of Immediate Witness, we stayed in conversation and relationship even when it was hard.

Covenant means that we commit to staying in relationship with each other and going through a repair process when that relationship has been ruptured. It is the most challenging and most vital work we do as Unitarian Universalists. If you would like to discuss any of this further, please reach out to me at intern@uucwc.org.